Chickens & Eggs and Why the Pro-Life Movement is a Sham.

Have you ever debated abortion? Does it sound something like this?:

Pro-Life: Abortion is murder of an innocent child.
Pro-Choice: Abortion does not kill a child, it kills a clump of cells.
Pro-life: Life begins at conception. That "clump of cells" is a baby. [insert picture of fetus]
Pro-Choice: Why don't we take it back further? Maybe life begins before conception. Maybe we should outlaw masturbation and menstruation? Those sperms and eggs have the potential to become babies, just like an embryo....

OR

Pro-Choice: My body, my choice!
Pro-Life: Not just your body, but the body of your innocent child. The child should have rights, too.
Pro-Choice: But the fetus is fully dependent on the mother like a parasite, not an autonomous being. It couldn't live outside the womb without the mother.
Pro-Life: So that gives you the right to be a murderer?...

OR

Pro-Life: If you don't want to have kids you should use birth control or not have sex!
Pro-Choice: Birth control doesn't always work! If I have sex responsibly and get pregnant with a kid a don't want, I shouldn't be forced to carry the pregnancy to term....

And on and on and on. It's chicken-and-egg fallacy. What comes first, the chicken or the egg? Clearly we can't always have both, don't always want both, and frankly I always thought chicken omelets were kind of weird. (ba-dum, ching!)

This is precisely why the landscape of this argument needs to change. We need to address the ACTUAL issues surrounding abortion in the United States instead of making endless justifications for our reasons, whatever they may be.

The abortion issue is about control, which I addressed in part in my post The War on Women. Part 2: Trust Women.

Why do I feel this way? I am, as you may have guessed, pro-choice. READ: Pro-choice means I believe that people should have the right to choose when and where they will bear children, and that it's no business of the government or religious figures/followers, or really anyone else but the woman in question. I believe she has the right to choose whether she will consult with her church or her friends or family or doctors or counselors or whomever in the process of making her decision. I am NOT pro-abortion. I think abortion sucks. You know what else I think sucks? Unwanted children.

So here's what I think about the so-called pro-life movement, and why the pro-life abortion mission is more about control than it is about preserving "sacred" life:

I think if they were really pro-life, they would be fighting to fund places like Planned Parenthood even MORE so that women could have all the resources they need to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Education. Contraceptives. Support. Healthcare.

I think if they were really pro-life, they would be fighting for a stronger healthcare system to support poor families, rather than whining about their taxpayer dollars going to welfare programs.

I think if they were really pro-life, they would be fighting against huge military spending (which, at the end of the day, kills all kinds of innocent born humans) at the expense of healthcare funding (both broadly and concerning reproductive services).

I think if they were really pro-life, they would be fighting to nationally legalize same-sex marriage, which would allow for loving couples to have all the same government granted rights and benefits as heterosexuals, which would in turn allow them to lovingly raise adopted children. THINK of all the loving would-be parents who are DENIED the right to raise children, just because they love others who have the same sex chromosomes as them.

I think if they were really pro-life, they would all be vegans and self-sustaining environmentalists.

I think if they were really pro-life, they would advocate for the rights of ALL people even AFTER they were born (See: homosexuals. See: quality of life.).

I think if they were really pro-life, they wouldn't be drafting anti-abortion bills that criminalize miscarriage (Utah, Georgia). If they were really pro-life, they wouldn't be working so hard at drafting anti-abortion bills with loopholes so big you could legally shoot an abortion provider through them (An Act to expand the definition of justifiable homicide [emphasis added] to provide for the protection of certain unborn children. SD HB 1171).

I think if they were really pro-life, they'd stop painting a picture of abortion clinics as places that use the smell of baking cookies to lure in foolish pregnant women, and then tie them down take their children. Women think long and hard before they make an appointment for an abortion. I bet 97% of them have their minds made up before even making the call. Then the other 3% maybe weren't so sure, and so took some more time to think & maybe changed their minds (which is OK, because these women have the right to choose).

I think if they were really pro-life, they'd be less busy calling pro-choicers slutty, irresponsible, murderers, and more busy advocating for a society that can adequately care for its children. (NEWSFLASH: Jesus is not going to fix this. He's been slacking pretty damn hard the last 2000+ years. I'm really beginning to believe that when he died, he just...died.)

As far as the pro-lifers who use a religious basis: I was taught that we are all God's children. That God loves every one of us. That God granted us free will. That God will deliver final judgment. It's NOT OUR JOB. I think if they were really pro-life, they would accept everyone who is not like them as one of God's beloved children for whom only HE/SHE/IT shall deliver judgment.

As far as secular v. non-secular arguments go, we're wasting our time. Just leave it at that.

Side Note: I recently had a Catholic pro-lifer try to convince me to "come back to the church" (I've been excommunicated, on various counts, but definitely for abortion), that if I took Jesus into my heart, then I would be forgiven. That if I repented, I would be forgiven. That if I confessed my sin, admitted I had done wrong, that I had strayed from the path, that I did a BAD THING, I would be forgiven.

Here's the thing: I do not need, nor do I want forgiveness, because I believe with every ounce of my being that I made the right choice. The RIGHT choice. It was the right choice for me, for the could-have-been child, for my partner, for my community. It was the right choice for my future children, should I choose to have them. It was a VERY difficult decision. I did not want to have an abortion. No one wants to have an abortion. But I could not have brought a child into the world I was living in at the time. I also know that adoption was not an option for me. So in the end, I chose abortion. I do not seek forgiveness. I seek acceptance. I seek the respect and trust due to me for making what was a responsible and right decision concerning my body, my life, and my family.

In the end what we have is a pro-life movement which doesn't seem to advocate for any life outside of fetal life. We have a pro-life movement which is (oxymoronically, given their tendency to be anti-big government) advocating for Draconian, fascist legislation of the female body. We have a pro-life movement that doesn't celebrate, honor, or respect life outside the womb.

This is not about "life" at all. It's about cultural, social, governmental control over a person's body. So let's talk about THAT.

War on Women. Part 2: Trust Women.

In this country and in many parts of the world, our cultures and societies have told us that women aren't to be trusted.

We've not been trusted to elect our government representatives. We've not been trusted to hold a job outside the home, or to hold a job while simultaneously being married. We've not been trusted to own property, but rather, upon marriage, became property. We've not been trusted to choose our own life partners. We've not been trusted to stand in a pulpit and preach the word of God. We've not been trusted to speak our minds, to be artists, to be politicians. We've not been trusted to make decisions.

After all, Eve ate the apple. Pandora opened the box.

We are stupid, silly creatures who cause trouble when left unsupervised.

And we keep getting pregnant when we don't want to.

I did some research into why it is that women get pregnant WAY more often than men. As it turns out: MEN CAN'T GET PREGNANT. They can have sex 75 times a day, 365 days a year, for 75 years and they will NEVER, EVER become pregnant. Not once. Who knew?

But, still, why is it that so many women are having unplanned, unwanted pregnancies? Sure there are the cases of rape and incest, but those only account for a relatively small percentage. Don't the rest of these women use birth control? Even if they do, the failure rate is, at best, 2% (with IUD) which gives women a 1 in 50 chance of getting pregnant even with the BEST birth control method used 100% properly 100% of the time. So if a woman has sex an average of once a week, she's got a shot at getting pregnant once a year. The failure rate rises with the use of hormonal contraceptives (the pill, patch, ring, etc.) and rises even more with barrier methods (condoms, diaphram, cervical cap, etc.).

*NOTE: I do not intend to entertain the notion of abstinence in this post. We all know that one cannot get pregnant if one does not have sex, but I'm guessing most people will have sex in their lifetimes.

According to the Guttmacher Institute:
"The average woman must use some form of effective contraception for at least 20 years if she wants to limit her family size to two children, and 16 years if she wants four children."

Ponder that for a moment.

What that statement is telling us is that even if we use contraceptives for 20+ years, we're still probably going to get pregnant at least twice.

Those are bad odds if you don't want kids. And also bad if it means you can't necessarily CHOOSE when those pregnancies will occur. Not to mention how much worse those odds get when you consider that there are many women who
A. Are allergic to latex.
B. Experience serious physical side affects arising from both hormonal contraceptives and IUD.
C. Experience serious psychological and emotional side effects from hormonal contraceptives.
D. Have little or no access to birth control due to financial problems or availability, or simply were never given the information on how to obtain or use such preventative methods.

Even with all those numbers stacked up against us, you'll be happy to know that a great number of those unwanted pregnancies grow up to be delightful "surprises" or who find themselves in wonderful adoptive homes. However, another great many go on to become the victims of their unwantedness: abused, neglected, NOT adopted into loving "forever homes," but rather shuffled through a struggling, underfunded foster-care system (did you know that the average age of the American homeless person is NINE?).

And then there are still a great many who never get born--this, at their mothers' discretion.

This is a decision that mothers should not only be able to make, but should be TRUSTED to make.

Why? Because it's HER body. It's HER life. YOU don't know what is going on in her life to lead her to make that decision, and frankly it's none of YOUR business.

Maybe she's engaged to be married. Maybe on the same day she found out she's pregnant, she also found out that her fiancé is engaged to someone else, too.

Maybe her community would shun her so badly for being pregnant out of wedlock that abortion would actually be safer.

Maybe she already has children. Maybe she is treading a fine line of poverty and knows that another child would put her family on the street.

Maybe she got pregnant the first time she had sex. At fifteen.

Maybe she's in an abusive relationship with the father.

Maybe she has a terminal illness that she would pass on to her child. Or maybe the father does.

Maybe she has an illness that would be so complicated by pregnancy that it would kill her AND the baby.

Maybe she wants children when she's older and the idea of giving her child away breaks her heart.

Maybe she has a substance abuse problem she doesn't trust herself to be able to kick in time to save the child from the damage it would inflict.

Or maybe she just doesn't want children at all.

Whatever her reasons, they are HERS. NOT YOURS. Women are not here to be controlled.

HEAR THIS NOW:

WOMEN ARE NOT PROPERTY OF THE STATE.

Do you hear me Georgia? Where they not only want to make abortion illegal, but also miscarriages. Where they want to close ALL abortion clinics.

WE ARE NOT YOUR BABY-MAKING SLAVE-FORCE.

Do you hear me, Texas? Where they want to require a waiting period and a sonogram before a woman can receive an abortion, and where they want to limit abortions to only in the cases of rape or incest.

WE WILL NOT BE TERRORIZED.

Do you hear me, South Dakota? Where they want to require a 3 day waiting period and "spiritual counseling." Where they want to make the murder of an abortion doctor legal, under the guise of self defense.

WE ARE NOT YOUR MISGUIDED SHEEP.

Do you hear me, Indiana? Where they want to require abortion providers to dispense FALSE information about a debunked theory linking breast cancer to abortion.

WE ARE NOT STUPID.

Do you hear me, U.S. House of Representatives? Who are trying to strip all funding to Planned Parenthood (including funding for birth control outreach and education, STD testing, cancer screenings, etc.), who are trying to redefine rape as something that would only be legitimate if the victim was visibly physically battered, and who are trying to make it so that insurance would not cover birth control, thereby giving the right to hospitals to deny abortion even in the case of saving the mother.

WE WILL NOT BE BEATEN INTO SUBMISSION.

We women pay taxes, too. We fund half of your billions-of-dollars military wars. We will NOT fund your war on us.

Do you hear me?

WE WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE OUR FREEDOM.